A late post summarizing my experience
on the last day of Manila Fashion festival 2017…
Looking like this…
I was convinced last minute
by my friends,
I realized I’ve never attended a Fashion show before?
At least ACTUALLY attended one, not as an
intern. (I dressed up models backstage once, probably never again after getting traumatized by hours of stress and time pressure)
I was glad enough I was able to
enter the event like this, of course I entered without the GTA V robber mask,
and the gun holster was hidden inside my bag along with a bunch of other weird
shit (I swear if security actually plopped out all the shit inside my bag I
really don't know how to explain the situation lol) which I will get elaborating on in the following post.
From Left to Right : Iann Mark, Vero,
Andre Trinidad, Elijah Gundran
I was kinda disappointed I wasn’t able to
attend the previous days, there were so many other designers I wanted to see, but nevertheless I was still impressed by the details and some of the designs I saw.
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| @yolilputa |
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| @iiyanmakeu |
After about 100 looks from people looking
shocked (surprisingly and I am also thankful some were impressed and
complimented my look… To all those individuals who shared kind words to me… it really warms my
heart…no seriously though)
I decided to just take everything off. Oh well, the results were fantastic!
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OUTFIT:
Turtleneck Bodysuit:
TOPSHOP
Blazer: From a
designer my mother knew in the past (very good quality)
Shorts: Satin Shorts designed
and made by me
Body Harness: from
random seller in eBay
Choker: random seller
from eBay I customized
Thigh High Boots: F21
Gun Holster: Some
seller from amazon
Beret: Gift from a
friend from Japan
Balaclava
Mask: eBay
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Apologies for vague sources of my pieces
as these were old and were bought with minimal budget
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That day was one of the most fashionably
fulfilling moments of my entire life, and just to share my past experience with
cosplay, funny enough Cosplay conventions and Fashion Shows are little to no
different, just a bunch of creative freaks in costumes.
Kidding aside it was still one of the coolest (and tiring) moments of my life, and during the afterparty somebody even asked for my photo (I forgot I wasn’t cosplaying) so then I strike a pose and the cute guy told me to pose sideways and I did, I thought they might ask for my name, like Instagram or twitter or whatever, but he didn’t seem like a photographer or an editor or someone like that.
It still got me thinking that maybe the anonymity of the mask gave it out as obvious that I didn’t want to be recognized which was completely fine with me.
Kidding aside it was still one of the coolest (and tiring) moments of my life, and during the afterparty somebody even asked for my photo (I forgot I wasn’t cosplaying) so then I strike a pose and the cute guy told me to pose sideways and I did, I thought they might ask for my name, like Instagram or twitter or whatever, but he didn’t seem like a photographer or an editor or someone like that.
It still got me thinking that maybe the anonymity of the mask gave it out as obvious that I didn’t want to be recognized which was completely fine with me.
I was finished with all my school
requirements during that time, which was the main reason why I was not able to
attend previous days because my schoolwork held me back, from posting these
photos and such, and even if there are only very few readers who check my blog
I still very much appreciate it, I hope I am worth something in this world at
least.
I think the last few pictures and the
whole aftermath is the representation of my being and soul during the semester.
As dramatic as it is about to sound, it’s the perfect word to describe everything else happening in my blessed but ungrateful life as of now…
As dramatic as it is about to sound, it’s the perfect word to describe everything else happening in my blessed but ungrateful life as of now…
I was dragged to hell and limbo.
Yet I was able to survive?
I kept reminding myself about that one quote in my head…
Yet I was able to survive?
I kept reminding myself about that one quote in my head…
It
sounds so fucking cheesy, geeky yet epic...
I wanted to die when I was in a group of people trying to work out our schedule and different work ethics and mindsets trying to complete a stupid thesis.
I wanted to vomit all the drama I got dragged into.
I had arguments with so many friends.
I cried in public and was humiliated by a loved one.
I felt used and abused, stripped to the last cent.
I felt my patience and being was raped and ruined.
But I can’t stop fighting.
I don't want to.
Not yet.
I’m constantly fantasizing about suicide
But can’t wish for death itself.
In the end I survive, but not with victory.
but with broken limbs and missing pieces.
and I can't seem to find a clear view in what I want to fight for
maybe it will come...
But it better come soon...
PHOTOS: Elijah Gundran, Iann Mark & Me
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