Saturday, March 31, 2018

SUGAR BUNNY




















Special Thanks again to my big brother for being the photographer of my scandalous shoots  (*’д`*) lmao

And thank you to all my friends and everyone who actually checks out this depressingly hilarious blog lol.

Happy Easter!







 





Thursday, March 29, 2018

A Full Blank Page

A month or two before I encountered one of the darkest parts of my mind again.

It is crazy to think I started cutting myself repeatedly again a few weeks back, but now my arm has healed and the scars are slowly fading away.

But how come the urge to jump off a building is still there?

A part of my mind tells me

“You should have cut it deeper”

Another part of me says

“It’s healing, now people won’t question your arm anymore”

And another tiny voice says

“You should probably move on and enjoy life now”

It’s not that easy to tell them to shut up when theyre all in your brain arguing who should be in control of this pile of organs and bones.

The voices get to decide, But I don’t, but who am I? Who I am is already the question in the first place. Do I really want to die? Or do I just want to disappear?

You see I don’t want to kill myself because I want people to cry over my dead body.

I don’t want to kill myself because someone I like doesn’t like me back.

I am not cutting myself because I want people to see what I am going through.

I simply just want to put a dot on a never ending sentence.

I want to end it all because I am tired of everything
But I don’t want to get tired of everything, I love everything...

But what am I tired of?

Most people get tired of  bad things happening to them.

“I’m tired of schoolwork”
“I am tired of being bullied”
“ I am tired of being in this ugly body I have”
 “ I’m tired of going to school again and again”

But what if it came to a point that you get tired of the good things? The simple things?

“I’m tired of being a good person”
“I am tired of taking care of myself”
“I am tired and I am too lazy to get up and eat I’ll just lie down and rot in my bed.”
“I’m tired of being treated good by my family and friends because I can never repay them back for their kindness”

You see I never wanted these thoughts in my head.


But somehow theyre here, as I type them down.


On an empty, white, digital sheet.

Waiting what am I gonna write about next 

“Is it gonna be some suicidal shit again or some hilarious life story?”

Waiting for the next project I’m gonna do.

“Am I gonna paint myself pink?”
“Am I gonna dance in public and laugh like an idiot ?”

Waiting when I’m gonna get inspired again.

“Next week I’m gonna do a photoshoot in the woods naked!”
“I have no fucking idea what to do for this school project might as well die now.”

Waiting when will I get that idea I painted in my head.


Waiting for that creative bullet to shoot me down.


Waiting if I can still hold on to one thing or let go of everything.








Wednesday, March 28, 2018

A - V E R Y - S A L A D - D A Y




































































b r a n d :  SALAD DAY


Photo & Video : 

Kurt Rebolledo

Elijah Salvador

Aaron Paatan for LIL PUTA's Shots

(video can be viewed on my IG)


Production Design & Makeup:

Lean Mangana

Brix Bataller

Aaron Paatan


Models :

Samantha Bell

Miho Yanagisawa

Aaron Paatan

Andre Drilon

Elijah Gundran aka LIL PUTA


(link to video : https://www.instagram.com/p/Bg0NxmwnQGl/?taken-by=stockinganarchy )

Special thanks to Willar & the whole team behind this project!

。:゚(。ノω\。)゚・。


<3









© ᐱ N G E L ᐱ N ᐱ R C H Y
Maira Gall