Sunday, October 28, 2018

Dear Self,




Dear Aaron,


It is my biggest fear to admit to my happiness, because I am afraid I will be made fun of it again and I am afraid to lose it again.


I bite the bullet and share it anyway; I must.

For the past few months I have noticed a big change within me.


I haven’t dragged a blade across my arms or my back or have had any of my suicidal tendencies.


My scars have faded pretty well and I have started focusing on what makes aaron happy and what I can do to make aaron feel less hurt. I started allowing aaron to stop dwelling on consequences and failures.


 I started allowing aaron to accept that pure joy isn’t happiness, that it is okay to be angry, sad, disgusted and scared.


I realized when aaron gets hurt I amplify it just because I think it will help.

Instead of helping myself, I only drag myself down even more.




I’m sorry aaron for being a shitty “self” to you.


I wish I could have done this earlier then maybe everything will not be so hard now.


I am sorry for making life even harder for you.

I never grew up strong, but I can accept my weakness and live through with it.



I promise that I can never keep promises and I am sorry I couldn’t be a better “self” to you.




But I can make sure to always be there,




Because I am the only “me” we got.








-ʌиɢə∟

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Maira Gall