Flesh, Blood and Veins

Flesh,blood and veins, I was born with. 

But a machine is the mold I was ordered to fit in. 

Molded to serve a purpose. That I still try to find to this day. 

I hope I never do, because of the joy in search for something, anything or nothing... will start to disappear.

I hope I never do, because when I do...what else is left there to find?

I try to forget

And so instead I start to dream

I dreamed to be a picture, a doll or a crystal.

With so much beauty that it will never expire.

But with flesh, blood and veins, I was born with.

Born in a way

Fit in a machine kind of way

Trapped in a shell kind of way

Against my will, kind of way.

Will probably never find a way

To be a a picture, nor a doll ... nor a crystal.

Just a machine 

With flesh, blood and veins.

H O M O A U T O M A T A

Humans and Automatons become one fabric of nature. 

                In a world directly parallel to ours, this is how the anticipated world is foreseen.

Everything is digitized & commoditized; packaged in plastics and easily disposable, including humans.

To survive in this world means to manufacture oneself in order to be of purpose, like a product placed on shelves next to countless others. Our bodies, faces, work & life must be picture perfect and posted in clean frames on our cellular phones, like products in display.

We are run by numbers, converted into codes. We are encased in an invisible facility with a community addicted with commoditization. Easily controlling us, with handcuffs made of codes and numbers.

                We are bred to become machines; to be a certain size, a certain creature, a certain shape.

 We are more machine than we are ever human.

Smart phones and stupid people, Sick humans and healthy diets; have we become artificial unintelligence? Have we doomed humanity by allowing the internet, cellphones and computers to control our anticipated world?

Humans that live are designed to work.

 

We are all built to serve a purpose that doesn’t exist.

We are ceaselessly trapped in a relentless cycle of creation and destruction.

We are condemned to be free.

We are human and we are machine.

About me 2.0

I decided to update this “About Me” post because the person I was a few years ago is a completely different being to who I am now. Maybe and I guess this is the perfect time to let you know a little more about me.

Greetings, I go by many different names, some call me Angel01d, some call me Angel, and some call me Zer0 but really you can just call me “A”. 

Different names summon a different part and being in me but you can call me “A” if you wish to just refer to me as a whole.

As I mentioned before, my name isn’t that important, but my mind, concepts and creations are.

I am a Fashion Design graduate from the Philippines, I graduated August of 2019 just a few months before quarantine came to change our lives.

I like to call myself a Fashion Artist rather than a designer as I see myself questioning Fashion more than solving its problems. 

I am heavily influenced by Sci-Fi, provocative art, unusual Fashion choices and my experiences in playing video games and how it molded and shaped my brain as a kid.

I still consider myself a student even when I am not currently in a school as I am still learning; learning about our world, the people around me and products of my environment.

If you wish to check out my creations...

You may see my designs on my Instagram @anyarchy (ANYARCHY).

And also @pepita_anyarchy if you wish to check out my beloved mascot and character, Pepita !

@angel01d for my alternate character

and @stockinganarchy for my main account where I post most of the time.

This blog will revolve around my creations, my stories and just things I wish to share with people from every single corner of the earth.

I wish to inspire or help anyone through my works and learn during the process of mistakes and errors.

NieR : Automata Cosplay

“Alert: This unit is currently wanted by YoRHa. Annihilation recommended.” 

“2B... it was an honor to fight with you. Truly.”

-9S

“The honor was mine.”

-2B

”Command is the one that betrayed you.”

-A2

“I never quite realized... how beautiful this world is.”

 -A2

Photo: L.O. photography (ig: @l.o.photography)

9S: Jinsei Cosplay (ig: @jin.sei_)

2B: Elle de Pedro (ig: @ilovethecielle)

ATTENTION SEEKER

Attention yes that is what i want.

I am nothing but an attention seeker.

I hope u understand that the only reason why i share too much of myself and everything, from the beautiful pictures i try to create versus the ugly things i do to myself and everything around me.

The way I want to portray myself as something beautiful when I also want you to see how ugly I am on the inside with zero photoshop or video filters.

See both sides of me, I want you to meet both of me, I want you to know all of me.

Because I want you to know the truth, my truth at least. 

I want to be friends with people, but some just want me for a follow and follow-back.

I want to be touched in reality but I am locked within your cellphone screens.

I am afraid of you learning about me but lets be afraid and do it anyway. I cant help but try, it is an itch I cant help but scratch anyway.

Because i have nothing else valuable left to share with this world once I leave.

This is the purpose i chose to make a promise with because I find it lovely when one person told me someone’s story could be of any help with someone and i am just stupid enough to believe my story could be of any use to any of you, friends or family or even a stranger.

It is a drug and I cannot stop.

Art is the most dangerous thing in the world. And loving art more than you love surviving life is beautiful and painful.

We all have a poison, this is what I take.

I guess I am a hypocrite when I try to help my friends stop smoking and tell them they are killing them selves when I literally tried to hang myself and cut myself during breakdowns lol.

In a way I am also doing all this for myself yet I am also doing it for someone out there.

Because I couldn’t give attention to myself at times I have lost even just one glance of my family or friends’ because I didn’t deserve love or understanding.

I was miserable enough to just seek for just one moment of attention from any one of them and take that instead of love and understanding, because it is too expensive. I could only afford to beg for attention; a look, a glance, a short moment of false care and “love” within quotation marks.

Maybe I have lost so much, too much that is why I am like this.

I am so mentally poor that an instagram like for me is = love, only if I believe enough and if I convince myself enough it is.

Maybe that is why I am afraid to meet new people or experience the outside world because I keep crawling back inside my cave again and again.

I am no longer a teenager but so far from being an adult.

Its safe here being a prisoner of my own room, phone and mind.

But it makes me only exist online to many of you.

But I cannot stay here forever.

I have always wanted to leave this place.

Because I love the outside world too much.

But too afraid to grow up ,step out and be ready to get hurt or get loved.